I assume we all now agree that 'Personalities' are a disaster in politics

Well, the UK general election is over and we can fairly safely say, given the majority the Labour Party won its unlikely we will have another one for a little while. That’s great, because frankly the idea of a parliamentary democracy as I understand it is that we delegate our decision making to people who theoretically have access to the facts. When we indulge in stuff like referenda we get, let’s say, suspect decisions.

But it does place the emphasis on us voting in people who are passably capable and display a basic level of competence for making decisions on our behalf. Now the trend of the last 15 years or so, probably encouraged by reality TV, is for folk to get elected who are probably not fit for the task but have a “Characterful” personality to make up for it. We elect people on the basis of whether we find them engaging as a person rather than whether we actually think that the policies they espouse might be any good for us and the country. Things have been moving that way for a while, but the last parliament was (Hopefully) the nadir.

Boris Johnson, the consummate conjurer, the master of misdirection, had an effortless ability to employ distraction to cover over his inability to master a brief or stick to a predetermined line. When he first appeared, he had a superficial attractiveness and novelty, based on the fact that he didn’t sound like other politicians. His bumbling-yet-glib shtick meant he could sometimes verbally dance his way out of sticky situations. A few TV appearances where he could demonstrate his ‘look’ and he was off to the races.

Which brings us on to the fact that he was also the possessor of the character politician’s ultimate tell.

He had “Statement” hair of course.

All of the usual suspects had a thing about the upper reaches of their head that was beyond strange. Yes I know in Johnson’s case it was supposed to be a personal brand identifier, but that’s the whole point. Politicians shouldn’t need that stuff. My thesis here is that because they knew that they were hopeless at their chosen profession they moved the goalposts to pretend they were actually in another one. They hoped we’d think they were in showbusiness. That’s borne out by all the Jungle appearances and Rees-Mogg’s willingness to allow a reality TV series to be made about his family.  

Of course, the one thing we know about the show business game is that – if you are a personality you need an instant identifier on your head. Cooper – Fez, Morecambe – Glasses, etc.

Which is how we had:

Boris Johnson – Insane hair

Rees-Mogg – The entire head of The Beano’s Lord Snooty

George Galloway – Stupid Fedora

David Cameron – Greasy 50’s teddy boy

Michael Fabricant – his dead granny’s wig

Penny Mordaunt - 80’s beehive

I need hardly say that when people who need these types of props find themselves in charge, no good comes of it.

However, with sublime skill and good sense, the electorate has shown the door to all of the above.  (Cameron doesn’t count – he would have gone anyway since his seat was lost even if he wasn’t in the Lords).

So where do we go from here? Well, the incoming Labour Government looks appallingly dull. Like a bunch of middle managers at a plastic box conference. Their leader appears to have had a personality bypass and not a single member of the cabinet appears to sport anything more controversial on their head than slightly bright hair.

Isn’t it bloody wonderful!

Who knows maybe they might be passably good at what they are paid for, you know, coming up with practical solutions to the country’s manifold problems. Early signs look OK. But even if they turn out to be less than stellar, they at least look like they are serious, unlike the last bunch who above all gave the impression that they thought “it was all such a laff” to quote Jarvis.

However, our fingers should be hovering over the eject button if any single person on the Labour benches starts making ‘Statement’ clothing choices or appearing with Timmy Mallett glasses.

Interestingly we see that, as in so many things, the US is different to us. They still show an alarming propensity to ignore the evidence of their eyes and vote for a candyfloss-topped satsuma. One can only hope that the Democrats realise that having Grampa Simpson as their choice may not be the best route to success. They should do something different. Like get someone who looks like a normal average working human being for a start

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